Tuesday May 02, 2023
Why paying attention to death is the most important thing for resetting your mindset to truly live
Welcome to episode 142 of the Coffee with Karen podcast. In this episode, Karen talks to Marcy McDonald, a mindset expert and end-of-life doula. Marcy shares her journey from working in a six-figure corporate job to living out of her car and becoming an internationally certified end-of-life doula. She emphasizes the importance of paying attention to death as it resets one's mindset and allows them to truly live.
Karen and Marcy discuss the importance of paying attention to one's body and emotions. The first step in mindfulness is to pay attention to what is happening in the body and notice where tension is showing up. Marcy explains that the emotional mind is in control and works quickly, processing a quadrillion bits of information in the time it takes to blink. This mind draws from the past and highly charged negative emotions to react to situations, but it is possible to change this through awareness and taking steps to bring the rational mind forward.
Marcy believes that paying attention to death is important because it resets one's mindset and allows them to live intentionally every day. They encourage listeners to think about the things they have been wanting to change about themselves for ages but haven't done and to stop putting things off for "someday," which is the same as saying no day. They emphasize that the brain is plastic, and it is possible to change no matter what burdens or interpretations one has been carrying.
The conversation then turns to why people struggle to deal with grief and death, even though they are inevitable parts of life. Marcy suggests that it's because we are not equipped to deal with them and are not taught how to process them. She shares her personal experience of losing her father and how it was a mixed barrage of feelings. Marcy encourages people to face their own death and have a guide to help them through it, as this process is enlightening and can be uplifting.
Marcy also discusses how to differentiate facts from stories and how we can re-pattern our stories to live emotionally healthy lives. She shares a personal story about her mother being manic depressive and schizophrenic and how this experience affected her life for a long time until she learned to separate facts from the story. Karen and Marcy emphasize that we have to be fully present and ask ourselves whether what we are telling ourselves is true or just a story. Marcy suggests that a coach who has been trained in listening to what people say about themselves can be very useful in helping people learn to hear themselves and re-pattern their stories.
Finally, Marcy explains how being a doula has helped her with the mindset of being fully present when someone only has a few days to live, which she applies when she is with clients as well. This conversation is a reminder to all of us that we have the power to reset our mindset and live intentionally every day by paying attention to our body, emotions, and the inevitability of death. We hope this episode inspires you to live your life to the fullest, starting today.
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Your Host Karen Roberts
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